He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
