I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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