ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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