U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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