At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
