I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
