hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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