i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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