So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
