you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
where am i from again
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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