she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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