to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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