how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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