we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
