Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
