remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
