Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
