I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We need to get me chipped asap
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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