So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize