You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
