Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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