Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
this hospital has no fireball
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize