I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
