Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
