Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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