maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do vagina's smell?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
