Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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