So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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