And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Semen is not good for contacts.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
