we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize