Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
