Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
