Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
