i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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