dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Never underestimate the power of titties
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
