Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
