I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
