i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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