She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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