I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
