Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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