I think my vagina is haunted
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize