I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
