xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize