I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
