whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
