i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
