Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
