I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
