Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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