i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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