i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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