her facebook's as public as her vagina
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
