it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
