that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It was confusing and full of hummus
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
