He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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