I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
