dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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