For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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