I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
