My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
