i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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