I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
