Welp...herpes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
