...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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