Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
