Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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