i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
