That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize