We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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