if i can run in heels then i can drive
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I will pee on everything he values.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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