last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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