Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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