the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
