Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
