Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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