dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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